Effective communication strategies for family therapy sessions

Even the happiest of families can have trouble connecting at times. Family therapy can provide a structured, safe place for families to resolve conflict and communicate more effectively. With the help of a trained therapist, couples and families can create stronger bonds and address specific issues causing friction for one or more family members. The skills families learn in therapy can help them deal with future challenges and create closer relationships.¹ 

Family therapists work to improve communication and resolve conflicts within a family unit. Family counseling approaches problems as patterns or systems that need adjusting, rather than an issue with one person. A family operates as a complex system where each member’s behavior impacts the others. Because of this, changes in one part of the system can lead to positive changes for the whole family.²

The primary goals of family therapy include improving problem-solving capabilities, understanding and handling special family situations–such as death, serious physical or mental illness, or child and adolescent issues–and improving family relationships and communication. Therapists guide family members to deepen their empathy, reduce conflict, and help them understand each other’s needs.³

Counselors use intervention for family therapy to challenge and modify the family’s existing dynamics. Therapists can help families break out of unproductive patterns and explore new ways of supporting each other. Family can move from blame to collaboration. Through structured sessions, families learn to identify the root causes of conflicts and develop strategies to resolve them. This understanding promotes healing and fosters a healthier family environment and long-term closeness.⁴

Family therapy includes different techniques designed to facilitate communication and deeper understanding among family members. A primary family therapy technique is genogram mapping. Therapists create a family tree that includes emotional relationships and medical history to identify generational behavior patterns.⁵

Structural therapy focuses on reorganizing the family system. The therapist identifies and addresses dysfunctions within the family hierarchy. They help establish clear boundaries and roles. This method empowers family members to assume appropriate responsibilities and support each other effectively.²

With strategic therapy, therapists give families specific tasks or challenges designed to change how they interact. These interventions are often direct and can lead to quick changes in family dynamics. They emphasize clear communication and practical solutions to specific problems.⁶

Narrative therapy encourages family members to recount personal experiences, so everyone can understand different perspectives and rewrite problematic “stories” that dictate behavior. This technique helps people to see issues from others’ perspectives, promoting understanding and empathy.²

Many family problems stem from a lack of communication or miscommunications. Therapists often engage in communication training to teach families effective ways to talk and listen, so all members feel heard and understood.⁷

Effective communication is at the heart of successful family therapy. Therapists have a lot of different techniques they can use to create an open, honest environment for family communication.

Throughout family therapy, it's crucial that all members of the family unit feel their emotions are validated. It's a key part of building trust among the family system and with the therapist. Active listening, reflective responses, and other techniques are all spokes in the wheel of emotional validation.

Therapists teach active listening to help family members listen attentively, show genuine interest and respond without immediate judgment or advice. One family member speaks while the others listen and then summarize the speaker’s words without adding their interpretations. This strategy lets everyone be heard and validated.⁷

Role-playing can also help improve communication. In this activity, family members may swap roles and act out each other’s behaviors and responses with the family therapist mediating. With this exercise, family members experience others’ emotions and perspectives firsthand.⁸

Reflective response, or mirroring exercises, also reinforce effective communication in family therapy. In reflective responding, a family member repeats what another has just said, validates it, and then adds their own thoughts. Then the original speaker can respond in turn. When people practice reflective responses or mirroring, they can be sure they receive others’ messages accurately.⁹

Another common strategy in family therapy is the use of “I” statements. These statements let people express their feelings and thoughts without casting blame. “I” statements reduce defensiveness and promote understanding. Instead of saying, “You make me angry,” someone might say, “I feel upset when this happens.”¹⁰

In Frontiers in Psychology, psychologist and lead researcher Mark Beyebach, suggests the efficacy of a new approach to talk therapy: solution-focused dialogue. Describing the technique, Beyebach says, “Instead of focusing on problematic behavioral patterns in order to change them, [this approach] places the focus on positive behavioral patterns, labeled ‘exceptions.’” This style of family intervention, most often used with young children and their parents or guardians, asks the adults to make note of the instances where they expected poor behavior but the child behaved well. During the therapy session all family members will discuss the situation and try to determine what, if any, of their actions helped contribute to the positive situation in order to repeat them in the future.¹¹

It's one thing to learn about communication techniques and apply them in a family therapist's office, but quite another to bring those tools into the complexities of day-to-day family life. When family members conscientiously apply these communication strategies— active listening, solution-focused dialogue, and reflective responses—to daily living, they may find true transformation in their interactions.

By making a commitment to these approaches, families can foster an environment where each member feels heard and valued, not just in moments of conflict or stress, but in all aspects of their home life. Reductions in misunderstandings, a stronger sense of unity, and an overall increase in the emotional well-being of the family unit are all possible. When we carry the principles of family therapy across the threshold of therapy sessions and into our daily lives, we unlock the potential for enduring positive change in our closest relationships.

Although a licensed marriage and family therapist is instrumental in effective therapy, the entire family has to take a proactive role in the sessions in order to succeed: Preparing for family therapy sessions will make them more effective. Family therapists can suggest using a few strategies for individual family members to make the most of their therapy sessions:

Before attending the therapy sessions, each person should think about what they hope to achieve from therapy. This might include better communication, resolving specific conflicts, or better understanding each other’s point of view. Coming together to discuss and agree on common goals can also help direct the sessions and provide a clear focus for the therapist.¹²

Family members should approach therapy willing to listen and consider different viewpoints. If they have an open mind, they’ll have a more productive dialogue that allows families to explore underlying issues without defensiveness or judgment. Being open to change and new ways of interacting is the only way families can change entrenched patterns.¹²

Each family member should be prepared to engage actively in the process. They’ll need to be prepared to be open while talking and sharing. They also need to agree to listen actively to others. Families might need to complete assignments or practice communication techniques outside of therapy sessions.¹²

Therapy can be emotionally challenging and draining. Families have to discuss sensitive issues that are often emotionally fraught. They can prepare themselves for this by committing to support each other through difficult conversations and emotional revelations.¹²

If you want to help families deepen their connection and relate to each other more effectively, Oklahoma City University’s Master of Education in Clinical Mental Health Counseling can equip you with the skills and knowledge you need. Our comprehensive curriculum will help prepare you for state licensure exams followed by a rewarding career building stronger families. Reach out to an admissions outreach advisor today to learn more.